So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
