So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
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All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
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Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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