we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Randomize
