so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
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