In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
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