Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
