Redeem this text for a blowjob
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
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