do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
we're making bets on your personal life
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
