I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
