? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Randomize
