this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
