ADVERTISEMENT

• (323): View more from California

  You got in a fight last night?

  (818): View more from California

  Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.

  (323): View more from California

  Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?

  Fav 132 9137 24696

  share tweet
  

• (+47): View more from Norway

  i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls

  Fav 48 11109 1526

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (404): View more from Georgia

  Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby

  Fav 25 3444 7135

  share tweet
  

• (701): View more from North Dakota

  So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster

  Fav 13 1317 3797

  share tweet
  

• (619): View more from California

  Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.

  Fav 14 4779 1805

  share tweet
  

• (740): View more from Ohio

  I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit

  Fav 5 905 786

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (416): View more from Toronto

  okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.

  (647): View more from Ontario

  Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.

  Fav 6 1189 822

  share tweet
  

• (206): View more from Washington

  Are you high?

  (425): View more from Washington

  The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear

  Fav 1 1153 532

  share tweet
  

• (330): View more from Ohio

  You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.

  Fav 5 1052 569

  share tweet
  

• (314): View more from Missouri

  Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.

  (314): View more from Missouri

  and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...

  Fav 0 50 11

  share tweet
  

• (573): View more from Missouri

  Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown

  Fav 0 51 9

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (513): View more from Ohio

  Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.

  Fav 0 11 26

  share tweet
  

• (205): View more from Alabama

  I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player

  (1-205): View more from Alabama

  Ride him like a Zamboni

  Fav 0 91 10

  share tweet
  

• (702): View more from Nevada

  I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?

  (1-702): View more from Nevada

  Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.

  Fav 0 80 10

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (310): View more from California

  That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering

  Fav 0 31 61

  share tweet
  

Randomize