I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
