I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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