If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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