you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
