It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize