I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
