all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
What did we do last night that was yellow?
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Randomize
