Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
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