where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever