I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
25 People Reveal The Creepiest Kids They Went to School With
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
17 Subtle Body Language Signs That Reveal A Lot About Someone
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me