You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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