i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Randomize
