apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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