so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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