Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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