I'm going to jail i love you
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
