I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
