so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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