oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
