Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Randomize
