Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
