this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
