I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
