I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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