So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
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