If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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