you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Randomize
