When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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