I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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