I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
It's rum buckets o'clock
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize
