Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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