They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
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