3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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