She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
