Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
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