I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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