Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize