I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have aggressive nipples.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
How naked do you want me to be?
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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