That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
