Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Randomize
