Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
