Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Randomize
