Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
