Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
my phone needs a breathalizer
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
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