He kissed a someone with a penis
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Randomize
