I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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