It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
These tits shall not be calmed
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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