You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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