never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Operation Purity has been aborted
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
