Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
