So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
