I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
