google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
