She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
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