we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize
