I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
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