summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
