my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
