it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
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The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
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I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
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