Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
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