yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
