I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
