I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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